What coaching is, and what if can do for you

Short version;

Coaching isn’t therapy or counselling

Coaching isn’t about past trauma

Coaching isn’t cheerleading

Coaching isn’t me giving you advice

Coaching isn’t me imagining I know what’s best for you (you know what’s best for you)

Coaching isn’t mentoring

Coaching is you finding the solution through discussion

Coaching is a safe space for you to share what’s on your mind

Coaching is forward looking 

Coaching is your chance to grab something you want with both hands

Coaching is a way to learn to thrive in areas of your life where you’re struggling

Coaching is chewing the cud until you feel like there’s some progress

The longer version; 

Coaching is a relatively new sport. And I say that because it's been around for about 30 years, which in human and psychology terms is quite short. When psychologists started asking the question about how people who thrive are different to people who suffer, a field called Positive Psychology was created. One of the aspects of this field includes studying how positive thought and steps can create lasting and meaningful change, and this is where Coaching came from.  Because it sits in the field of Psychology, it's a one-on-one relationship like you'd have with a therapist or counsellor, it allows you time and space to think and talk, so that is also similar to therapy or counselling, BUT - it isn't therapy or counselling; they sit in different spaces and are useful for different purposes.

The difference is that coaching looks forward. We aren't digging around in your past, processing trauma - we get to work with a "what can we do to change that" attitude. Coaching - the kind that I do - is forward motion stuff - positive change can be created through a series of steps or conversations that lead to action.

So, because of this, coaching can work in the way willpower can't. How often have you tried a new regime only to give up a few days or few weeks in? Coaching can help you make lasting change because you change your mind to change your life. It's an incredibly rewarding process that's also lively and can even be fun.

The sessions work like this; I hold space for you and ask you questions - this is called a structured conversation - you talk more than me - about 80% of the time. Your time is taken up with thinking, talking, and thinking some more. You actually have all the answers to your and my questions, you just need time to think about what's best for you. I don't give you advice either - that's what mentors do. You really are your own best expert.

I have clients come to me with a variety of issues or goals they want help with; mostly I coach taking a break from alcohol and/or stopping drinking for good - but I'm also now coaching stopping smoking and recreational drug use too.   I am not an addiction counsellor tho.    In the above space I have also found it incredible to coach for loneliness or living solo.  These have been life changing for me and I love them so much.   I also coach health changes like exercise and diet, and I've got a few GLP1 clients who are navigating extreme weight loss, side effects, bodily changes and their mind too - and trying to prepare for whatever life looks like when they stop taking them.

And despite the fact most people come to me with a goal in mind, I always feel like it's successful if I manage to convert the client from an initial goal to lasting changes (plural) that include the understanding that the journey is actually what it's all about. We live our lives so much in the past and in the future that with JUST a goal in mind, it's really easy to overlook TODAY,  this week, this moment, before it's gone for good.